Week 2 Blog Post

The rituals of transition for women that I believe are important in the United States life, is when a women gets her period, when she has children, and gets married. At least, that is what I seen from the culture that I grew up in. When a women gets her period, it is seen as that she is not a child no more. Periods are also things that do not be talked about. I know many people from my city that have said that if they are on their period, they have to hid it from the rest of their family members and do not mention it at all. In the bathrooms, they have to hid their sanitary pads or tampons and make sure no one can find it. I have even seen some households that do not have a trash can in the bathroom. They said the reasoning behind that is the men in the house would get suspicious and would look through the garbage and find out that they are on their period. In my opinion, that is absurd. After a women has children, it is seen as she has fulfilled her purpose in the world and procreated and has started her next journey, which is into motherhood. When a woman gets married, it is seen as she has become an official adult and is ready to be on her own. Those three things are the biggest transitions for women in my community. I come from a place that has a lot of people from all different types of ethnicities. Most of the people that live there are either first generation Americans or they have came from a different country, like Yemen, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Bosnia, and many more. Most of these countries predominantly have the old-fashioned mindset about women, where they believe that those three things are what their only purpose is.

I come from an all women household, so I feel that I did not have to go through hiding many of the natural things that were happening to my body. My mom was more open to talking about things, then other Bengali parents I know. She was there for me and helped me feel comfortable about myself and I am happy for that because I am the person I am today because of my mom encouraging me all the time and being there for me.

The idea of belonging-liminality-belonging in actuality is very true. One thing I can talk about is how there is a difference between what a man and a woman can do in college. A man is looked up to when he sleeps with a lot of girls and is considered cool, a player. A woman who sleeps with a lot of people is considered a slut and shamed for it. They usually get called many names like hoe and slut. You can just tell from the different words that describe those two experiences how men are able to do the same thing as a woman, but still not be deemed in a bad light like the women. Not having “many bodies” would be one of the biggest messages I kept getting when I came to college. Not having many bodies means not to have slept with many people. That is because people say that a woman that is not for everybody is “better for man”, which in my opinion is nonsense because it does not go both ways. Another thing I experienced was being told not to wear too much revealing clothes because if something were to happen to me that is because I was “asking for it”. This is just crazy because I feel that the behavior of the person that is committing something wrong should be fixed before people try to go tell women that they can not wear this or that. Why must women be punished for having their curves and wearing whatever they want? Why must they always be put on punishment because it is going to distract guys? Why is it that how it affects guys always in the best importance? Those are always questions I ask when I see a women in a bad position like this. I feel that those situations are always trying to put women down and give them shame for being a WOMAN. I just hope that people grow and women are treated better. It is the 21st century, but a lot of people still have a mindset that is outdated.

3 thoughts on “Week 2 Blog Post

  1. Tapia,

    I think it is crazy that some people in your community have to go through so many obstacles to keep their period. secret. That is the total opposite of the Apache tribe we got to see in the lecture video where they celebrated having a period and joining “womanhood”. Although Americans tend not to want to talk about periods very much, I do think it is becoming more socially acceptable. I mean nowadays, women’s boyfriend’s and fathers are going to the store to get them tampons or pads and years ago people would have gasped at that sight in a grocery store. Also, while I agree with you on the rites of transition being a woman’s period and marriage, I do not necessarily agree with the having children as one. I think maybe in some areas where women’s sole purpose is to procreate that might be. But I think America has come a long way with not thinking that women are made to “have babies”. I think it is definitely something that is celebrated by people because children are little miracles, but I don’t think its a “milestone” in life. I personally think people view marriage as something more common than babies especially since marriage can never be “an accident”. Women get pregnant on accident all the time or do not know they are pregnant, to begin with, so I do not see how it can be a rite of transition. You do bring up good points though, and it was interesting reading your post.

  2. Hello!

    The transitions of women here in the U.S. are accurate. When a woman gets her period, when she has children, and when she gets married seem to big stages in life for women living here. Thankfully, I also grew up in an environment where I felt comfortable enough to talk about my period, but, I also know a lot of women who did not. When a girl got her period, she was not supposed to talk about it. It was considered “not lady like” to mention her period in the presence of others, especially men. If she was feeling tired, had cramps, or anything like that, she was supposed to take the necessary medicine for the pain and stay silent about it. Now, I feel like talking about one’s period is not as shamed as it was back then. I now hear more women being open about their pain when it is their time of the month, and the advertising for feminine products is more relevant. Now, there are even trips called “period retreats” where women can go to Menorca for a week while being on their period and relax. These retreats are examples of women recalling their period and to celebrate their femininity (Savini 2018). Another example is the video from this week’s material about the Apache tribe. Women had celebrations when it was their time to be a woman. These celebrations lasted for quite some time, and had a great influence on the way the celebrated women felt about herself and her future. Women should not be ashamed of what naturally happens with their bodies. Being around others who won’t shame a woman for going through her period and also having retreats seem like good ideas for tearing down the stigma around a woman and her period.

    Works Cited (Outside Sources):
    Savini, Loren. “How These Women Are Trying to End Period Stigma Once and For All.” Allure. June 27, 2018. Accessed July 15, 2018. https://www.allure.com/story/breaking-the-cycle-end-period-stigma.

  3. I thought it was very interesting that women in your community were ashamed and hid their menstrual cycle. This is a natural event that everyone experiences, not something women should be ashamed of. I can understand women being discrete about it as it is such a personal process but never being ashamed. It’s interesting how in lecture we learned about the Apache tribe and how they celebrate menarche. I wonder how different our society would be if that was an occurrence in this culture. Another point you brought up was how college women are implicitly and explicitly told to be aware of their clothing and actions as they are judged by those factors. This is such a large problem in our society that is propelled further by the media as well as popular belief. Institutionally there needs to be a change in the way women are viewed, it is currently in process but there is still a long ways to go. I believe it needs to start young with instruction and guidance on simple respect for others. I think this society lacks that immensely.

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