The rituals of transition for women that I believe are important in the United States life, is when a women gets her period, when she has children, and gets married. At least, that is what I seen from the culture that I grew up in. When a women gets her period, it is seen as that she is not a child no more. Periods are also things that do not be talked about. I know many people from my city that have said that if they are on their period, they have to hid it from the rest of their family members and do not mention it at all. In the bathrooms, they have to hid their sanitary pads or tampons and make sure no one can find it. I have even seen some households that do not have a trash can in the bathroom. They said the reasoning behind that is the men in the house would get suspicious and would look through the garbage and find out that they are on their period. In my opinion, that is absurd. After a women has children, it is seen as she has fulfilled her purpose in the world and procreated and has started her next journey, which is into motherhood. When a woman gets married, it is seen as she has become an official adult and is ready to be on her own. Those three things are the biggest transitions for women in my community. I come from a place that has a lot of people from all different types of ethnicities. Most of the people that live there are either first generation Americans or they have came from a different country, like Yemen, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Bosnia, and many more. Most of these countries predominantly have the old-fashioned mindset about women, where they believe that those three things are what their only purpose is.
I come from an all women household, so I feel that I did not have to go through hiding many of the natural things that were happening to my body. My mom was more open to talking about things, then other Bengali parents I know. She was there for me and helped me feel comfortable about myself and I am happy for that because I am the person I am today because of my mom encouraging me all the time and being there for me.
The idea of belonging-liminality-belonging in actuality is very true. One thing I can talk about is how there is a difference between what a man and a woman can do in college. A man is looked up to when he sleeps with a lot of girls and is considered cool, a player. A woman who sleeps with a lot of people is considered a slut and shamed for it. They usually get called many names like hoe and slut. You can just tell from the different words that describe those two experiences how men are able to do the same thing as a woman, but still not be deemed in a bad light like the women. Not having “many bodies” would be one of the biggest messages I kept getting when I came to college. Not having many bodies means not to have slept with many people. That is because people say that a woman that is not for everybody is “better for man”, which in my opinion is nonsense because it does not go both ways. Another thing I experienced was being told not to wear too much revealing clothes because if something were to happen to me that is because I was “asking for it”. This is just crazy because I feel that the behavior of the person that is committing something wrong should be fixed before people try to go tell women that they can not wear this or that. Why must women be punished for having their curves and wearing whatever they want? Why must they always be put on punishment because it is going to distract guys? Why is it that how it affects guys always in the best importance? Those are always questions I ask when I see a women in a bad position like this. I feel that those situations are always trying to put women down and give them shame for being a WOMAN. I just hope that people grow and women are treated better. It is the 21st century, but a lot of people still have a mindset that is outdated.