In the United States, going through puberty is the most nonchalant ritual of transition. I think the main reason for this is the taboo nature of the topic, along with one’s first sexual experience. When I started my period for the first time, I was embarrassed because it was in the middle of a track meet, and I was unprepared. I had to go through the stands and ask the adults I knew for help.
Some gender-neutral rituals of transition include getting your driver’s license, voting, and drinking alcohol–all of which are restricted until someone becomes of age. Although I do not consider drinking alcohol a necessary American rite of passage, voting and driving are important symbols of freedom. Marriage and graduating from high school are two more publicly celebrated rituals of transition, usually through a ceremony. I do not consider marriage a necessary American rite of passage either, but I am usually an outlier in this belief. Graduating high school, however, turns the page to the next chapter in a person’s life, symbolizing the freedom in adulthood.
I, myself, have gone through every ritual of transition listed above except for marriage. I can still remember the first time I ever drove by myself. I worked at an ice cream shop not even two minutes away from my childhood home, and I drove to work that day. On the way home, I took the longest possible route–driving up and down almost every street in town–singing along to whatever hit songs were on the radio with the windows down. For years after, I loved the sensation of driving so much that I became the designated driver whenever my friends wanted to go somewhere. I do not currently have a car, so looking back at this time in my life is making me feel nostalgic.
When I graduated high school, I was too busy to process the significance of my accomplishment. Between open houses, speeches, and preparing a slideshow, it honestly felt like a blur. Looking back, I wish I would have understood the concept of being antifragile. That was the beginning of one of the biggest life changes I have endured thus far. The actual ceremony was not as important as the aftermath. That next fall, I would move out, and never move back in; I dove head-first into my independence.
I did not exercise my right to vote until the 2016 presidential election. Going to my designated polling location was such a fascinating experience. As I stood in line, I watched as everyone in front of me made their way through the process, so that I would be prepared to follow suit. Looking back, this was the moment I truly felt a part of something bigger than I even understood.
I celebrated my twenty-first birthday in true East Lansing fashion. At the time, I felt liberated legally walking into bars because I worked in one of them, so I was finally allowed to officially come in while I was off the clock. I thought going to bars was fun for the first couple of years, but I have since grown out of it. Looking back, I definitely envy my miraculous ability to dodge hangovers. On a more serious note, and as a Sociology major, it was really interesting to observe a drunken, relaxed form of society.
Belonging-liminality-belonging is very familiar concept to my college experience. I have been financially independent since I was eighteen, so I have been working almost full-time while being a student. This created a sense of ambiguity where I was not a college graduate, but I was already working the hours of someone outside of school. I also took a year off in-between my junior and senior year, and this increased the liminality of my situation because all I did during that time was work.
I did not really receive many implicit or explicit messages about how college women and men were supposed to behave based on their gender. My campus experience was pleasantly filled with people too busy trying to figure out who they were to worry about the likes of anyone else. That being said, I also feel like my education was biased in this, for I was taking a lot of Sociology and Women’s and Gender Studies classes that spent time breaking apart these practices of general society.
Hello!
I really enjoyed reading your blog post! I didn’t really think about getting your drivers license or voting as an American rite of passage until I read your post! Driving really is such an important mark of independence. I remember when I first got mine and that feeling of freedom driving to work by yourself. It was so surreal to sit in the car by yourself and even parking the car instead of being dropped off. Even being able to go to the store by yourself made you feel more like an adult. I am really surprised that you did not receive many messages about how college women or men are supposed to act based on their gender. It’s interesting to hear someone else’s perspective since a lot of my college experience thus far has contained many of these messages. It really comes to show that we all interpret things differently!
Great post!
Your comment about driving by yourself for the first time is really relatable, as I also wrote about that! I too remember always taking the longest route home when I was sixteen because it meant a little extra time to myself, and a little extra freedom.
Although, I find it odd or rather interesting that you have not really received any implicit or explicit messages in regards to gender roles on campus. While I do agree that MSU is a very liberal and modern community, there are still subtle messages that we receive subconsciously. For example, an implicit message that I often think of is how women are “supposed” to dress at a party, versus how men are expected to dress. Or even an explicit message, like telling girls that they can’t walk alone at night because it’s dangerous, while men are free to walk wherever and whenever they want. We see this as a safety precaution of course, but when you really think about it, it’s a message that women receive, based on their gender, dictating their behavior. I think it’s important to realize that no campus is free of gender bias messages about behavior. Our generation is working towards breaking down and challenging these biases, but unfortunately, they are still somewhat prevalent. It can just be very easy to overlook because the expectations we have for women and men are so deeply rooted in our subconscious.