In the United States, a few rituals that I think that are important are puberty, marriage, and funerals.
Puberty is important in the American culture because it signifys a female/men transitioning into young adulthood. Puberty takes the body through many changes such as hormones, growth in pubic and faical hair (men), reproductive changes, and body structure changes as well. For females they start to develop body changes such as the development of breast, wider hips, changes in reproductive organs, menstrual cycles, body and pubic hair. For males they start to develop facial and body hair, changes in their voices (usually gets deeper), develop bigger muscles and enlargement in their genital area. For both males and females they start to develop hormones that cause them to be more interested in sex. that many Americans perform and celebrate are birthdays.
Marriage is another important ritual in the American culture. For some American families, they encourage their children to finish secondary school and then go off to college or find a full-time job. After that, they push marriage onto their children (for some families). Marriage is a big thing because it bridges the gap between social and economic status. It’s when people ideally want to start a family and have children. In today’s society adults have this mentality that if they were to get married it will bring them happiness and financial stability.
Lastly, funerals are important because it’s a way for Americans to say their final good byes and to reminisce about that person’s life and what they meant to them. It brings hope to people that their loved ones are at peace based on their spiritual beliefs.
For me, I have experienced the transition of puberty. Puberty was weird for me. I started to develop my breast in third grade and I remember I was one of the few girls that had to start wearing training bras. Around the sixth grade, I started my period and I remember I was at the golf course with my grandparents and I was wearing yellow shorts. I was so nervous and was wondering if anyone else knew that I had started. As I got older I noticed changes in my body, I started to grow hair on my legs and my underarms, so I had to start shaving. I noticed that my body was more developed than other girls and I was always told I look older than what actual age was. It made me feel good at the moment but I started not to like it because I thought if I looked older now, how would I look as I actually older? Like would I look like a 40 year old women in my 20s? As I was going through puberty, I experienced a bad case of acne and I still have this problem till this day. My acne didn’t get worse until I was in the 8th grade and ever since then, every year it gets worse and worse. Overall my puberty experience was weird and I didn’t like it. Thinking about it, I wish I had more guidance and was informed more about puberty and what to expect.
I have experienced funerals as well and personally I don’t like funerals. I know some people its a celebration because the deceased person is no longer suffering on Earth and they are at peace in heaven. However, I have a fear of death and I get really sad when I hear about people who die even if they aren’t related to me. In total, I have been to about three funerals so far. At each funeral I start to cry really bad and the whole time I just think about how short life is regardless how long the person has lived on Earth. Still to this day, I feel the same way about funerals and it makes me think that I need to get my life together before its too late.
The belonging to liminality to belonging concept applies to my college in many different ways. The process starts with being removed from a place that you are comfortable with and then placed into a new environment with other people who are having the same experience as you then after you’ve completed that section of the process you are then placed back into a new environment. For me, I decided to go to Michigan State University which is 45 mins from where I live in Michigan (Battle Creek), it’s not really far but it was a new experience for me. I lived in the dorms with three other girls, one who lived in the same city as me and the other two were international students. I’ve never lived in a college dorm before so this was new experience for me. Being at college was honestly the best experiece I have had so far, it taught me how to do things on my own and problem solve when unexpected things happen in life. During my journey I noticed that I was not in contact with high school friends anymore and I was so busy that I wasn’t keeping in touch with my family as much anymore either. College overall is an experential learning journey, females are often expected to be more studious than male counterparts and to be structured in terms of having a job, an internship, and to be apart of professional and social organizations. In addition, women are to have a social life and to have a full-time job lined up by the time they graduate. While males on the other hand are expected to live their best life. It’s the norm for males to be party goers, have a job, have different sexual partners, and be the life of the party. Males don’t have the expectation of having a job by the time they graduate, it’s okay for them to take their time to figure out what they want to do and find a job.
I decided to comment on your blog post because I had not even thought about funerals being a ritual of transition, but I definitely agree that they belong in that category. I also chose your post because my puberty experience was very different from yours. While you were an early bloomer who has always had to deal with looking older than you are and starting your period early, I was the complete opposite. I started my period after my sophomore year of high school and have always been told I looked like I was 12 years old, even at age 19. While it was strange for me to go through puberty at such an old age, I found that I felt a lot more prepared than most people who had to go through it when they were so young. Additionally, I kind of enjoyed my experience because for me it was a relief to finally reach this natural milestone. I’m sorry that you didn’t feel as prepared for it as I did. Do you think if you got your period when you were older that you would have felt more ready for it?
Thank you for sharing your experiences!
Hi Lauren. I can relate to your puberty debacle, since it is a big transition in a girl’s life. I have struggled with acne too. Everyone says it’s because of hormonal changes caused by puberty, but never talks about how we still get it afterwards. The International Dermal Institute claimed 40-55% of adults from 20-40 still get acne. Factors causing this may be hormone fluctuation that comes from menstrual cycles and everyday stress. Overall, puberty was a weird time for me too. I never had much guidance since the female figures in my life were raised the old-fashioned way and didn’t have guidance either.
As far as funeral experience, I have never attended one. My great-grandma passed away when I was 8 and my parents didn’t want me to experience such a sad event. My great aunt passed away recently and I watched over her young grandkids instead of attending. There are two sides to death – no further suffering like you said, but there’s grief experienced by family and friends. Funerals remind me that I need to tell everyone that I love and appreciate them before I can’t anymore.
Acne article: http://www.dermalinstitute.com/article/15/.
Hi Lauren! Thank you for sharing this. I can agree with your statement that puberty is very important to young girls and boys transitioning into adulthood. I am glad you wrote about this topic because I feel like it is a topic many people try to avoid due to the fact that it can be awkward, even though, it is one of the most important transformations in an adolescent. Puberty is a time in that young male/females life that they can start to know themselves better and get to know who they really are as an individual. As a young girl around the age 11, I started my period and experienced many changes in my body before any of my friends have. I did my best to hide everything and never even told anyone, not even my twin sister, because I was embarrassed. Around 6th-7th grade more and more of my friends started going through this so we all learned to embrace it and accept the fact every individual goes through it. I also can agree with your statement that both marriage and funerals are very important to Americans because weddings and marriages signifies the start of a whole new chapter in your life and is a very exciting time. As for funerals, they are important as well because it brings all of the friends and family who knew them together to say their final goodbyes. I agree with you when you say you do not like funerals, as for most people, because it marks the end of an individuals life who you knew. The only time someone may celebrate the end of a person life is, like you said, if the person was suffering for many years with an illness because now they are at peace. Life is too short, thats why it is important not to stress about the small things and to cherish and make the most of every day. A funeral or someones death really puts things into perspective and makes the small things we stress about seem not even relevant anymore.
I liked how you stated that usually marriage comes after college and represents financial stability and happiness. I think this is all standard and correct, my experience is slightly different however. I met my boyfriend my senior year of college and I moved in with him early on in our relationship, we have adopted a dog and raised him together after dating for a few months. We have now been dating for less than a year but we are planning our marriage already and are actively looking at engagement rings and homes in Marquette where we are moving to in less than a year. I do not think this is typical because technically I am still in school and taking classes even though I walked at the graduation ceremony and I have not found a full time professional job yet.
Another thing that is not typical with us is that we do not want children which is the standard next step after marriage. Neither of us really enjoy children and just see them as annoying financial burdens that hate you most of their lives. Even though we are moving quickly and are not following the rules for typical rites of passage we are both extremely happy. I think its good to break the rules sometimes and get out of the typical flow of things.