During my senior year of high school, my close family friend was pregnant with her fourth baby. I started babysitting for their family when she was pregnant with their third child and had grown very close with the kids and their parents. Preparing for her fourth baby seemed like a breeze since she had done it three times before. However, she did face a different obstacle this time. She knew this obstacle was coming because she faced it with her third pregnancy as well. The obstacle really had nothing to do with the anatomy of the pregnancy. The hospital protocol was her biggest challenge to face.

My friend, we’ll call her Emily for the sake of this story, preferred natural options rather than medical, especially for her children. Emily had chosen to not vaccinate any of her children, that isn’t the point of this story nor am I saying whether that was a good choice or not, but it is relevant to the issue of this story. Historically, Emily had very short labor and deliveries. They had decreased by an hour with each child going from five hours, to four hours, to three hours. She barely made it to the hospital in time for her third child.

Knowing all of this, Emily did not want any medically intervention that wasn’t needed during her labor. Specifically, she did not want an IV in her arm. When discussing this with her doctor, the doctor became very rude and told her it wasn’t possible. However, Emily put up a fight, but with no success. Even though the IV wouldn’t be hooked up to anything until needed, the hospital staff wanted to have a port ready. They were forcing Emily’s hand to do something she really did not want to do.

I can see why the medical professionals would want to be ready, but it doesn’t seem right to force someone to do that. And Emily wasn’t going to do it. So, when she went into labor, she stayed at home for as long as possible and then labored in the parking lot of the hospital so that they staff would not have time to give her the IV port before the baby came. For someone, to have to play such a dangerous game just to have the labor and delivery she wanted is ridiculous. The hospital was more worried about normal protocol than their patients’ wishes and health.

But it did not stop there.

When she did go in and have her baby boy, the nurses tried to swoop him away immediately after the birth despite Emily having made it very clear before hand that that was not what she wanted. Emily had to actually yell at them for her to have a few moments with her new son before they took him away for the normal tests. They even tried to vaccinate him immediately, again, against her wishes.

After the birth, Emily wanted to diffuse essential oils in her room. The hospital didn’t want her to at all, but then compromised to allow her to do it if her door remained shut the entire time.

This experience impacted me because it infuriates me that someone would have to fight so hard to have the labor and delivery experience that she wanted. When I woman brings new life into the world, she should be able to have her wishes honored. Of course, if there was a medical emergency, that would be different. In any other case, labor and delivery should be what the mother wants it to be. This experience impacted me so much that it created a passion and desire for me to become a midwife. Every woman deserves to have her voice heard, especially when it is not causing harm for her or her baby.